Life has been really shitty lately... The past three days have been awful... I have had absolutely no motivation to do anything at all. On top of that, I messed up on my polyphasic sleep AGAIN! I have tried and failed three times now. I am really starting to question if I have the self-control to pull this off. Regardless I am going to try again... and if I fail, I'll try again.. and again and again. I will not FAIL. In an effort to get myself back on track, I have been depsperately writing and planning all my days. Seeing it on paper definitely helps me keep on track. Journals work wonders.. but only if you have the self-control to use them consistently.. which is alot harder to pull off than it sounds.
What am i really trying to accomplish today:
1. Get my life back on track and moving forward with leaps.. not steps
2. Get my business off the back burner and finish the set-up.. that is what makes me money, I cannot afford to just let it sit idle. I am seriously royally fucked if I lose it.
Those are the main things.. some things that would be nice to move forward
art
song
guitar riff
other business
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Idle life
Life has been really shitty lately... The past three days have been awful... I have had absolutely no motivation to do anything at all. On top of that, I messed up on my polyphasic sleep AGAIN! I have tried and failed three times now. I am really starting to question if I have the self-control to pull this off. Regardless I am going to try again... and if I fail, I'll try again.. and again and again. I will not FAIL. In an effort to get myself back on track, I have been depsperately writing and planning all my days. Seeing it on paper definitely helps me keep on track. Journals work wonders.. but only if you have the self-control to use them consistently.. which is alot harder to pull off than it sounds.
What am i really trying to accomplish today:
1. Get my life back on track and moving forward with leaps.. not steps
2. Get my business off the back burner and finish the set-up.. that is what makes me money, I cannot afford to just let it sit idle. I am seriously royally fucked if I lose it.
Those are the main things.. some things that would be nice to move forward
art
song
guitar riff
other business
What am i really trying to accomplish today:
1. Get my life back on track and moving forward with leaps.. not steps
2. Get my business off the back burner and finish the set-up.. that is what makes me money, I cannot afford to just let it sit idle. I am seriously royally fucked if I lose it.
Those are the main things.. some things that would be nice to move forward
art
song
guitar riff
other business
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
what is wrong with me?!? no control
FOCK! well I have over slept again... and now I have to start Polyphasic sleeping all over AGAIN! what the hell is wrong with me? Why can I not stick to this? I am starting to think less and less of myself everyday. I feel pathetic right now. Sometimes I just don't understand why I cannot accomplish things... is there something wrong with me? Is it because I have nobody pushing me.. is it because I'm not focused enough..? WHAT?! These are the things that really worry me.. that make feel that I AM going to end up a nobody. Because I can only control my body half of the time.. and the other half it just runs wild. Something has got to change. I have been doing the same things for the past 5 years and it is not getting me where I want to go. Some serious revising needs to be done. I am going to get started now. My next post will be on the revisions.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
I need money
Hmmm... I need to make some money. What's the best way to make money online..? I have no idea, but i know the simplest way would be to sell some stuff on ebay. I am looking to set up a business that can generate some cash for me...
Being Conscious
I know we are creatures of habit... but good habits only go so far. To truly be effective, you must be conscious. This is harder than it sounds. The reason is BECAUSE we are creatures of habit. Our brain tends to put itself on autopilot, and we mindlessly move throughout the day the same as always.
This never really seemed to bother me until I started trying to change myself for the better. It is very easy to say "be conscious" ... yet very hard to incorporate into your day... atleast for significant periods of time.
There is a song by a British Rock band named "Bush" that states the lyrics "Don't let the days go on by..." Ever since I have heard those powerful words, I cannot stop thinking about me wasting my time.. better yet wasting my life. My biggest fear is to one day wake up and be a loser.. and have nothing. I see it all the time, men in their 30s and 40s who just look beat down from life. It scares the crap of me that it is possible that one day I could, no, I WILL, end up like that if I don't work my hands to the bone. Because that is what dreams the size of mine require... massive amounts of work, and massive amounts of LEVERAGE. It is impossible for me to accomplish my dreams on my own.
This never really seemed to bother me until I started trying to change myself for the better. It is very easy to say "be conscious" ... yet very hard to incorporate into your day... atleast for significant periods of time.
There is a song by a British Rock band named "Bush" that states the lyrics "Don't let the days go on by..." Ever since I have heard those powerful words, I cannot stop thinking about me wasting my time.. better yet wasting my life. My biggest fear is to one day wake up and be a loser.. and have nothing. I see it all the time, men in their 30s and 40s who just look beat down from life. It scares the crap of me that it is possible that one day I could, no, I WILL, end up like that if I don't work my hands to the bone. Because that is what dreams the size of mine require... massive amounts of work, and massive amounts of LEVERAGE. It is impossible for me to accomplish my dreams on my own.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Polyphasic Sleep
So I have been desperately trying to convert to Polyphasic Sleep. Unfortunately, it has proved to be a much harder task than I originally thought. Despite this, I am still out to conquer this goal. I have been keeping a small journal of my feelings during the days of massive sleep deprivation. I will keep you updated on these until I have accomplished this goal. Anyone who wishes to attempt this can learn from my experiences. One word of advice: Have a VERY strong will to accomplish this or you will fail.
Polyphasic Sleep
January 2, 2009 - 11:00 am - Today is the start of my polyphasic sleep plan
January 3, 2009 - 4:00 am - I'm now starting to feel fatigued, but not enought to make me lose basic motor skills.. I dropped my cup and my coffee twice.. so maybe not.
January 3, 2009 - 8:30 am - Well I have been up for almost 24 hours now and I am starting to feel very tired now. If I were to go lie down in my bed, I would be dead asleep in only a matter of seconds. I am also starting to lose some of the feeling in my body, especially in my legs. I have not lost the feeling completely, but my body feels very slow and heavy. I can tell my brain is functioning slower than normal. Infact I have made numerous spelling/typing errors on just these basic sentences (ofcouse I've been correcting them along the way, but they are mistakes I don't make. It is finally starting to click in my mind that converting to this sleep schedule is not going to be easy. I keep pondering thoughts of quitting already... Be strong.
January 3, 2009 - 11:00 am - I am starting to feel more awake now. I think the blue sky and sunshine comming in throught the windows has a lot to do with my newfound energy. Just three hours ago I was getting ready to shut my eyes and fall over. Now I feel fine, a little fatigued, but nothing like before. I have the feeling of when I get up about an hour early for a morning staff meeting... the feeling of slight tiredness and nothing a cup of coffee couldn't solve. Hopefully the worst has came and gone, but I seriously doubt that. Well I have a nap again soon.
January 3, 2009 - 5:00 pm - Wow, this is getting strange. No I am not hallucinating or having strange feelings in my body. What is strange is that I feel normal now. I feel as if I am off 8 hours of sleep. I am good to go. Infact I even had the nerve to go drive my car to the grocery store... something I promised myself I wouldn't do while adapting to this new sleep schedule. But I can't think of any reason not too. I gave myself a few basic test.. including reading comprehension and coordination. I also bounced a tennis ball off of my walls for a while and didn't drop it once. Yesterday at 4:00am I couldn't do this drill for the life of me... however today it is a piece of cake.. and I've had less than 2 hours sleep since then. Is my body recognizing the change? Can I have possibly adapted this quickly..? I am skeptical... I hope I am wrong, but I don't think it is possible to adapt this quickly. More updates soon.
January 4, 2009 - 5:00 am - The night was a little rough, I am definitely tired, but not to the point where I can't keep my eyes open. I think once daylight comes I will be more awake. Sleeping has been going good so far, my 20 minute naps seem like an hour to me. Although I haven't experienced any extremely vivid dreams, which kind of worries me because that is supposibly normal. I want it to happen to.. I just think it'd be cool.. I've never really expierenced a vivid dream. One more thing, I've noticed that I get VERY tired when I stop using my brain. For example I decided to watch television to pass the time. BIG MISTAKE. All that did was make me more exhasted. Then I sat up straight, and started playing video games with my cousing, speaking to him and interacting.. All of a sudden I wasn't fatigued anymore, infact I was awake as ever. So that is one of the tricks here, to keep my brain active.
January 7, 2009 - 3:00 am - The last few days have been pretty good. Except I over slept on by two hours the previous two days. Aside from that everything has been going smoothly. I am not really getting tired anymore. I have been driving my car, and lifting heavy objects, and operating power tools. Another thing to note is that I usually start to get tired with in 10-20 minutes of my scheduled nap time. For example, when I am getting ready for my 4pm nap, I start feeling drousy around 3:40. Which is good, because it tells me it is time to sleep. I'm pretty sure in a few weeks or so I won't need an alarm to tell me it's time to sleep. The extra hours so far have been amazing. I'm still in awe of how I have slept so little, and still feel the same. Absolutely Amazing. My 4am nap has definitely been the toughest so far. I think that is because my body is already condidtioned to sleep at the time. I have overslept it the past two nights on accident. It is my next nap it will be interesting to see if I don't sleep through the alarm. I'll let you know soon.
January 11, 2009 - 12:00pm - Well I have overslept for the past three days. I have to start over. The good news is, I have still been taking my naps, so I think I'll be a little more equiped to handle things this time around. Another thing I've noticed is I just like the feeling of being in bed. I guess that "few more minutes" was too overwhelming for me to handle. But the wierd thing is I feel better (less groggy) when I get up after 20 mintues, rather than taking those extra few minutes of rest. At first it sucks, but only a few minutes of groggyness and then I am up and I feel great. Where as the other way around, if I sleep the extra 5 minutes, I feel like shit when I get up. Anyway, it is a REAL challenge to conquer this when you're half asleep.. mainly because it is so easy to justify a few extra minutes of sleep. Your mind starts rationalizing, making things up, and before you know it, you've slept an extra 4 hours. It is absolutely heart breaking to wake up and look at the clock and see that you have overslept. Also very frustrating, because it feels like it is only half your fault.. like you have no control over your body when you are in that state of mind. Being so exhasted you can barely think. Sometimes it feels like torture in a way.. because you body is desperatly begging you to give it sleep, yet your brain says NO. The sensation throughout the body is awful... and the mental state of knowing that you cannot sleep no matter how bad you want it. Horrible. I am devastated I have to start over. But i have to do what I have to do. This month of pain will pay off.
Polyphasic Sleep
January 2, 2009 - 11:00 am - Today is the start of my polyphasic sleep plan
January 3, 2009 - 4:00 am - I'm now starting to feel fatigued, but not enought to make me lose basic motor skills.. I dropped my cup and my coffee twice.. so maybe not.
January 3, 2009 - 8:30 am - Well I have been up for almost 24 hours now and I am starting to feel very tired now. If I were to go lie down in my bed, I would be dead asleep in only a matter of seconds. I am also starting to lose some of the feeling in my body, especially in my legs. I have not lost the feeling completely, but my body feels very slow and heavy. I can tell my brain is functioning slower than normal. Infact I have made numerous spelling/typing errors on just these basic sentences (ofcouse I've been correcting them along the way, but they are mistakes I don't make. It is finally starting to click in my mind that converting to this sleep schedule is not going to be easy. I keep pondering thoughts of quitting already... Be strong.
January 3, 2009 - 11:00 am - I am starting to feel more awake now. I think the blue sky and sunshine comming in throught the windows has a lot to do with my newfound energy. Just three hours ago I was getting ready to shut my eyes and fall over. Now I feel fine, a little fatigued, but nothing like before. I have the feeling of when I get up about an hour early for a morning staff meeting... the feeling of slight tiredness and nothing a cup of coffee couldn't solve. Hopefully the worst has came and gone, but I seriously doubt that. Well I have a nap again soon.
January 3, 2009 - 5:00 pm - Wow, this is getting strange. No I am not hallucinating or having strange feelings in my body. What is strange is that I feel normal now. I feel as if I am off 8 hours of sleep. I am good to go. Infact I even had the nerve to go drive my car to the grocery store... something I promised myself I wouldn't do while adapting to this new sleep schedule. But I can't think of any reason not too. I gave myself a few basic test.. including reading comprehension and coordination. I also bounced a tennis ball off of my walls for a while and didn't drop it once. Yesterday at 4:00am I couldn't do this drill for the life of me... however today it is a piece of cake.. and I've had less than 2 hours sleep since then. Is my body recognizing the change? Can I have possibly adapted this quickly..? I am skeptical... I hope I am wrong, but I don't think it is possible to adapt this quickly. More updates soon.
January 4, 2009 - 5:00 am - The night was a little rough, I am definitely tired, but not to the point where I can't keep my eyes open. I think once daylight comes I will be more awake. Sleeping has been going good so far, my 20 minute naps seem like an hour to me. Although I haven't experienced any extremely vivid dreams, which kind of worries me because that is supposibly normal. I want it to happen to.. I just think it'd be cool.. I've never really expierenced a vivid dream. One more thing, I've noticed that I get VERY tired when I stop using my brain. For example I decided to watch television to pass the time. BIG MISTAKE. All that did was make me more exhasted. Then I sat up straight, and started playing video games with my cousing, speaking to him and interacting.. All of a sudden I wasn't fatigued anymore, infact I was awake as ever. So that is one of the tricks here, to keep my brain active.
January 7, 2009 - 3:00 am - The last few days have been pretty good. Except I over slept on by two hours the previous two days. Aside from that everything has been going smoothly. I am not really getting tired anymore. I have been driving my car, and lifting heavy objects, and operating power tools. Another thing to note is that I usually start to get tired with in 10-20 minutes of my scheduled nap time. For example, when I am getting ready for my 4pm nap, I start feeling drousy around 3:40. Which is good, because it tells me it is time to sleep. I'm pretty sure in a few weeks or so I won't need an alarm to tell me it's time to sleep. The extra hours so far have been amazing. I'm still in awe of how I have slept so little, and still feel the same. Absolutely Amazing. My 4am nap has definitely been the toughest so far. I think that is because my body is already condidtioned to sleep at the time. I have overslept it the past two nights on accident. It is my next nap it will be interesting to see if I don't sleep through the alarm. I'll let you know soon.
January 11, 2009 - 12:00pm - Well I have overslept for the past three days. I have to start over. The good news is, I have still been taking my naps, so I think I'll be a little more equiped to handle things this time around. Another thing I've noticed is I just like the feeling of being in bed. I guess that "few more minutes" was too overwhelming for me to handle. But the wierd thing is I feel better (less groggy) when I get up after 20 mintues, rather than taking those extra few minutes of rest. At first it sucks, but only a few minutes of groggyness and then I am up and I feel great. Where as the other way around, if I sleep the extra 5 minutes, I feel like shit when I get up. Anyway, it is a REAL challenge to conquer this when you're half asleep.. mainly because it is so easy to justify a few extra minutes of sleep. Your mind starts rationalizing, making things up, and before you know it, you've slept an extra 4 hours. It is absolutely heart breaking to wake up and look at the clock and see that you have overslept. Also very frustrating, because it feels like it is only half your fault.. like you have no control over your body when you are in that state of mind. Being so exhasted you can barely think. Sometimes it feels like torture in a way.. because you body is desperatly begging you to give it sleep, yet your brain says NO. The sensation throughout the body is awful... and the mental state of knowing that you cannot sleep no matter how bad you want it. Horrible. I am devastated I have to start over. But i have to do what I have to do. This month of pain will pay off.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Hello World!
Well it is the year 2009. This is going to be a life changing year for me. The base has been built.. I have been working on that shit since I was 16 years old... I am 21 now.. and I am ready to be rich. I have been building the skeleton, building the foundation, and now I am ready to start GOING UP, to the sky, where my dreams lie! This is my quest to become as perfect a human as possible, and to use my time, body and mind as efficiently as humanly possible
Here is what is wrong with me that I have plans to change...
- My Body, Pic (1 & 2)
I have taken the time to study diet and nutrition and finally custom made myself a nutrition plan (see here) and work-out plan that will get me my desired results after 16 weeks of following it.
- My sleep patters
I am starting Polyphasic sleep, aka, sleeping 2 hours a night. One of the main reason this interested me, aside from the obvious, is that Leonardo Da Vinci did this... Leonardo is my biggest inspiration for everything.. I absolutely idolize that man... He is perhaps the most diversely talented person ever to have lived; and one of my biggest inspirations for trying to become as close to perfection as I possibly can.
- My time usage
Maximum efficiency.. I have started a new journal for 2009, and I scan it regularly for you to see. I'll have to translate it for you however, because I don't write in English.. I am Dyslexic and have never really understood the English language (in terms of writing) ... because of this I made my own language.. although there is no verbal form, it's more just English written in a way I understand. so please forgive me if there are spelling errors on this site... my spell check only goes so far.. but honestly I don't really give a fuck if there is.. deal with it.
- My art
I have been told over and over my entire life that Art is where my talent lies... and I agree.. it is definitely my natural gift from God.. unfortunately I have been to busy (i hate that saying), more just too lazy to actually use it.. But now that I am only sleeping 2 hours a day, I will definitely have more time to devote to art and music.
Here is what is wrong with me that I have plans to change...
- My Body, Pic (1 & 2)
I have taken the time to study diet and nutrition and finally custom made myself a nutrition plan (see here) and work-out plan that will get me my desired results after 16 weeks of following it.
- My sleep patters
I am starting Polyphasic sleep, aka, sleeping 2 hours a night. One of the main reason this interested me, aside from the obvious, is that Leonardo Da Vinci did this... Leonardo is my biggest inspiration for everything.. I absolutely idolize that man... He is perhaps the most diversely talented person ever to have lived; and one of my biggest inspirations for trying to become as close to perfection as I possibly can.
- My time usage
Maximum efficiency.. I have started a new journal for 2009, and I scan it regularly for you to see. I'll have to translate it for you however, because I don't write in English.. I am Dyslexic and have never really understood the English language (in terms of writing) ... because of this I made my own language.. although there is no verbal form, it's more just English written in a way I understand. so please forgive me if there are spelling errors on this site... my spell check only goes so far.. but honestly I don't really give a fuck if there is.. deal with it.
- My art
I have been told over and over my entire life that Art is where my talent lies... and I agree.. it is definitely my natural gift from God.. unfortunately I have been to busy (i hate that saying), more just too lazy to actually use it.. But now that I am only sleeping 2 hours a day, I will definitely have more time to devote to art and music.
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