Wednesday, January 14, 2009
what is wrong with me?!? no control
FOCK! well I have over slept again... and now I have to start Polyphasic sleeping all over AGAIN! what the hell is wrong with me? Why can I not stick to this? I am starting to think less and less of myself everyday. I feel pathetic right now. Sometimes I just don't understand why I cannot accomplish things... is there something wrong with me? Is it because I have nobody pushing me.. is it because I'm not focused enough..? WHAT?! These are the things that really worry me.. that make feel that I AM going to end up a nobody. Because I can only control my body half of the time.. and the other half it just runs wild. Something has got to change. I have been doing the same things for the past 5 years and it is not getting me where I want to go. Some serious revising needs to be done. I am going to get started now. My next post will be on the revisions.
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Brother, Friend. Nothing you are doing or aren't doing is making you a nobody. Trust me, from people all over the globe who have tried polyphasic sleeping, we can tell you it is no easy task. To fail is to breathe (analogy).
ReplyDeleteI just want you to know I came into polyphasic sleeping with the attitude that "I had what it takes to be polyphasic!" ... what a stupid thought. It truly isn't about how much willpower you have. If it came down to life or death, I can guarantee you that 95%+ people in the world could live an everyman lifestyle if they had to.
The truth is though, no one is forcing anyone to live that life. And to attempt to do so is something that is harder than anything most people have gone through. As far as society is concerned, it isn't natural to spend time during the day taking naps, and it hinders social activities (can't argue with that).
Individually, we have to weigh our own gains vs. what we lose to live polyphasically.
Everyone in the world that I know would like to have their soul live on forever. No one truly knows what happens in the afterlife, but we all know we would like to survive and be eternally happy. For those who believe there may or may not be an afterlife (doesn't matter which), we all want to live on this earth for as long as we possibly can. Man has been searching for the "Fountain of Youth" since the beginning of time. I believe that most people who experiment with polyphasic sleeping (myself including) are trying to find their "holy grail", ... their "fountain of youth." Polyphasic sleepers, along with all others, want to survive past this earthly awareness and transform to something that survives through eternity.
Eternity is unfathomable. Who can even begin to imagine forever and ever? What we know is, we'd rather take on eternity vs. nothingness after death. Who honestly wants to know of nothing after they die? I am learning to accept that their may be nothing after death ... and I can live with that. It will better prepare me for when that day comes that I will be forced to face death.
It is different for everyone. I hope you all find what is right for you. And live a happy, peaceful, and successful life.